(At least that was the intended subject of this essay!)
When I feel a need to be more spiritual, I sit in meditation, chant mantras, discuss esoteria with like minded souls and generally invoke the divine energy. To be honest, this need usually follows a period of stress, tension, self-doubt, or trauma. Does this make me a spiritual opportunist? Perhaps, but being always absorbed in spirituality tends to bore me after a while. I need some action, and as soon as action appears, if I like it, I dive into it and churn it up.
Does engaging in spirituality preclude being practical, or vice versa? I don’t think so, but sometimes I see that one can create an obstacle for the other. Are obstacles bad? It depends on the situation. If I am so absorbed in my spirituality that I neglect my body or family, then sure, something’s wrong. It could be similarly wrong for me to be so absorbed in practicality that I push aside my spiritual consciousness. Why would I wish to push aside my spiritual consciousness and how would that serve my purposes?
I have heard often from all kinds of spiritualists, that we are here in this world because we somehow, somewhere, long long ago rejected our spiritual consciousness to embrace this world. We made a big mistake and thus we are bad. Our job is to get back to our original state because that is better. I understand the desire to get back to our natural state where things are nice, but I question being bad because I embraced something other than spirituality. I mean, if I made such a huge mistake I must have had a good reason to do so. Why would a spiritual person with a clear consciousness elect to ruin it all without a good reason?
Satan enticed Eve with an apple. Allegorical, yes, but interesting. Satan can get us by giving us something we do not have that we want and lust after, that is powerful and new. Hmmm. So there are powerful, attractive, interesting things in this world that are so desirable that we go from the spiritual world to attain them. Why not make the best of it? Embrace these goodies and enjoy! Unintended consequences = bad bummer. False expectations: I expect this, get that. No fun after a while, like eating those chips that give you a taste buzz for the first two minutes but then depending entirely on the crunch in the mouth and ears. I heard it on NPR!
Am I seeking something? And if so, where is it to be found? I hate boredom. What a drag. Sitting around, nothing to do, or so much to do my brain burned out. Waiting for some action to spark that effusive energy of creation. I love that energy, but not too much. I like to create, to build, to develop from nothing something cool and useable. I may not like taking care of it later on when things get screwed up with politics, envy, jealousy, antagonism, greed, and tons of other words that indicate we are not very together as a humankind and probably never were. This is sad, no doubt, but not relevant to a discussion of my boredom. Ah, but action! Yes! Bring it on, but not in a way I don’t like or else I will get stressed and when I am stressed I get nasty. Watch out!
What was I saying? I forgot. It is too much work to reread this thing, whatever it is, and besides, I would probably conclude that it is all too personal anyway and should be deleted. I am a great editor of myself. I can hear instantly when idiocy pours out of my mouth and mentally rewind the etheric record to delete and replace where needed. If only the audience could hear how well I said it! Elegance is not my thing, I am a solid, practical guy who gives down to earth advice on how to link the heavens to the earth through the heart. Actually, that is elegant, but how can I say that without sounding presumptuous, arrogant, not humble or anything else that will agitate those who are themselves presumptuous, arrogant and not humble? So better avoid the entire situation and remain in service to all as needed.
Sometimes I do not feel like being of service in that way. If I am being of service, I should have some degree of control over how I shall render that service since no one is paying me to do it. And if you paid me and I did not like what you wanted, I would not do it anyway and give you a refund. Refunds are great. They are kind of like do-overs. Do-overs are great because you get to edit and correct. This is tough on a live broadcast. Sometimes I speak to people when I don’t want to. Not good. I take it out on them and project. Well, it was their own fault in the first place because I always end up speaking if encouraged to do so even when I do not want to. I can go from dead silence to blab-a-lot mode in an instant when spurred into babble by someone’s prodding interest. You see how it’s your fault?
I feel too much. Everything in fact. It is hard to go places where there is a deficit in the collective consciousness because this needy energy pushes me here and there. Although I need to be needed when I need it, when I don’t need it I shut down. I am ok to some extent when in a one to one or small group situation because I have enough internal juice to feed the energy and adjust it enough to compensate for my perception of the pain people feel. A few jokes or unexpected twists on a familiar situation are usually enough to divert attention to fun and laughter. Laughter is absolutely the best medicine without a doubt.
What do you do when you are floating in a sea of everyone feeling fornicated up? Since jumping into the nearest lifeboat puts you at greater risk, it is easier to jump into some action to deviate your energy into something positive and constructive. We like to do things that are easier than things that are harder, and so we opt for practicality. Work hard now, for tomorrow you might meditate. To meditate at this point in time is to enter into the etheric mix where hurricane winds rail against a holed up humanity that simply can’t forget anymore and that makes meditating tough. Where do you go to avoid it all? Well, there are always other realms, but you can’t stay there, and so when you get there you are faced with the sad prospect of leaving again or else, if you are really near the electric fence, they look at you and lovingly send you back, and so you go, plunk. Our neighbor’s dog is called “Plunk.” What a cool name! What a decisive sound! Plunk, as in Ger-Plunk – the state wherein what was above ends up below into a liquid that embraces it as it swallows that whatever it was in a quick gulp. Ah, it is better than merging. It is annihilation of existence in a moment. No pain at all. No time to feel pain. You are there and then you are gone. Plunk.
Alas, were it so. But it is not. You plunk on one side and pop out the other. Maybe that is more like a splat. Splat is not so cool as Plunk. I mean, who would name their dog, “Splat?” Then again, who would name their dog Plunk? Plunk is a cool dog and the name, although not fitting, seems to amuse the creature. Actually, many things amuse that beast, especially scratching behind the ears. Dogs have it good. My dog loves to have his tummy rubbed and is not happy when I stop. Such a prince.
You might have figured it out. I am not traumatized yet today. So far, so good, so writing is a snap. Mix one mind getting sick of being a construction manager with one incredibly glorious rainy drought relieving day with a few cups of coffee and you have a recepie for a stream of dislocated thoughts sweetened by blatant unconcern for the consequences. Read it at your own risk.
Did you think you were going to gain some deep, esoteric knowledge to elevate you beyond your own flavor of bored tension? What did you get when you read this, Oh you rare soul who managed to make it to the end?
Now the problem starts. I am going to edit this flow into something neat and tidy. I shall undoubtedly ruin it entirely. Tough beans. But then again, my teeth are not in good shape. I have to be practical!